Summer Solstice

I LOVE the long, long days of summer in the north.  I am fueled by daylight, and it makes the long, dark, rainy nights of winter worth bearing. (Although I have to say I miss the snow here!)  I have always appreciated the summer solstice in the north, and I feel sad that it is all *downhill* from here, although of course, there will be plenty of light for the next couple of months. 

I wanted to officially celebrate the summer solstice this year, and somehow I managed to be done with all musical work obligations by 6:30 pm.  It was almost like vacation!  I was up (unintentionally) for dawn around 4:00 am (a not uncommon event when it is light so early), and of course, I was still up at dusk around 10:00 pm.  There have been VERY few occasions when I had any desire to go to bed before the sun set, and all of them have involved illness or having just given birth or jet lag.

Evening sun in our front window...

...leaves its mark on the living room wall.

Anne and I poked around on the internet for a few minutes when I got home from my rehearsal, and we decided to make a special cake.

As Jared is out of town this week, we had more options for ingredients.  

The cake itself was this one: https://lovingitvegan.com/vegan-vanilla-cake/ , although I can't possibly not alter a recipe...  😜  We used whole wheat flour, since that's what we had in the house, and I generally prefer it over all-purpose whenever possible.  We used only half the sugar it called for.  And brown instead of white (had to go with what's in the pantry!).  Then we used applesauce instead of oil.  But I have to say, it turned out sufficiently fluffy and moist, and I was quite pleased with how much it rose.  I would make it again the same way.

For the icing, I went with this avocado buttercream frosting: https://www.giverecipe.com/avocado-buttercream-frosting/  I have to say, I'm not a huge fan of the lurid green, but it actually turned out quite tasty.  And I used brown sugar instead of powdered, because... I wasn't going to the store for anything last night.

Anyway, after dinner we had the chance to go out for a lovely 9:00 pm neighborhood stroll.

Anne was our guide, and we wound up at the neighborhood playground for a while.

We made it home around 10:00 pm, and assembled our cake, which we ate on the back patio to the accompaniment of two electric candles.

I have to say that despite the cake decorating class I took at a homeschool co-op once (Did I mention I love making and decorating cakes???) this one leaves something to be desired.  Ok, it would have been better if I had two round spring-form cake pans, frosting in a less lurid color, a proper cake platter, and some flowers, but we sufficed with what we had lying around.  I do aspire to make pinterest-worthy cakes.  That Jared will eat.  Which is basically an almost impossible order.  hehe.  

At least it was QUITE yummy:

Goodnight!

Poo Poo Point...

...was so named because during the logging and coal mining era in the Issaquah Alps, the train whistle echoed from the valley below.  This point on Tiger Mountain was logged by Weyerhauser in the 1970s so thoroughly, even the stumps were removed.  Which makes it the perfect place for paragliding and Level 3+ hang gliding take offs.  Two main trails go up there.  High School Trail is longer and more gently sloping.  Chirico is shorter and more aggressive.  That's what we picked for our Father's Day hike on Saturday afternoon, as Anne would have to walk the whole way herself (now that she is one pound too heavy - not to mention way too tall - for the Ergo or the Boba). 

Looking south from Tiger Mountain - almost to the Point!

Lazarus watching the paragliders who were catching some nice updrafts

Looking northeast from the point.  Squak Mountain is directly in front of us, followed behind that by Cougar Mountain (site of Anne's Kindergarten for next year), followed in the distance by the Olympic Mountains across the Sound.  Lake Sammamish is on the right.

A hazy view to the east down onto the Issaquah Highlands.  The buildings slightly left of center are the hospital where Lazarus was born, and presumably where our next arrival will join us.

We watched two solo paraglider launches.

...and one hang glider launch.

Hiking down.  It was fortuitous that about 2/3 of the way up when Anne couldn't possibly take one more step, she met a little boy near her age hiking with his family who was in the same predicament.  "Will you be my friend?" he said.  The two of them pretty much managed to run the rest of the way to the top together.

The first 1/3 of the way up had this beautifully paved stone trail.

The parking lot right by the landing spot is only 20 minutes from our house now, although that doesn't matter a lot on the weekend when there are so many hikers.  Jared dropped us off here and parked at least a mile away at the high school.  While we waiting for him to pick us up, we got to see twelve glider landings, most of which were tandem.

And right at the trail head there was this fantastic wooden "Bobby", which Lazarus was so sad to leave when it was time to go.  It is part lion, part eagle, and he climbed on it and talked to it quite extensively.  (Bobby - originally referred to large a puppy of our acquaintance named Poppy.  Then expanded to refer to any dog.  And further expanded to refer to various four-legged animals.  Although it still retains its specific original meaning as a proper name for our furry Gig Harbor friend.)

Little Helpers

Yesterday afternoon the kids and I were hanging around in the front yard.  Anne was vacuuming out the car (a chore she earned for an unsafe action while we were driving), and having fun doing it.  (She told me she was never going to do [unsafe action again] but she would be happy to clean the car again.)  The vehicle looks great, and it's nice to have all the dirt and food crumbs evicted!  I was doing various scraps of yard work nearby so that I could help her out as needed.  Lazarus was following us around.  At some point I began walking back and forth between the dirt pile in the back yard created by our sandbox digger, where I was removing the rocks he unearthed, and the front yard, where I was depositing said rocks to outline what was once a flowerbed (and shall be again.)  Along the way, I also picked up some bricks and a random yard art mushroom left around by former residents.  On one of my returns, I found that little Lazarus had caught on, and he was carefully picking up little hand-sized stones from the gravel along the side of the driveway and piling them up in our evolving and eclectic garden border.  He was quite proud of himself for figuring out how to help without being asked!  It was one of his cutest moments all day--although his newfound love of saying "Geh goo," ("Thank you") any time he is helped or wishes for help is pretty adorable, too.  And also how he reads books out loud to us with totally indecipherable syllables and great enthusiasm.  Anyway, you can see some of Lazarus' handiwork here:

Later in the day I happened to read this fantastic piece from NPR about how indigenous children in Mexico do a lot of chores for their family.  They generally do much more housework at ages six to eight than Western American children, and they are usually doing it because they want to help, not because their parents make them.  Here were a couple of quotes from a research article about these Mayan families:

For example, one mother said her 8-year-old daughter comes home from school and declares: "Mom, I'm going to help you do everything."  Then she "picks up the entire house, voluntarily," the study reported.

"Another time, the mom comes home from work, and she's really tired," says Rogoff of the University of California, Santa Cruz.  "She just plops herself down on the couch.  And the daughter, says, 'Mom, you're really tired, but we need to clean up the house.  How about I turn on the radio and I take care of the kitchen and you take care of the living room and we'll have it all cleaned up?'"

Anyway, this reminded me of a conversation I had with my dear Afghan friend when I was at her house last week.  She was talking about how much work she had around the house with three children now (her kids are seven-and-a-half, five-and-a-half, and eleven months), and how much help her seven-year-old was.  My friend said, "She says to me, 'Mom, you work too hard.  Let me help you.'  So she cleans up the apartment, and when we wash clothes, she folds them all."  At the time I was half amazed, and half thinking about how competent children really are in terms of we often don't give them enough credit.

There was huge gem in the article which ties my toddler rock pile-builder and my seven-year-old house worker friend together:

This may come as a surprise, but over and over again, researchers said one thing is key: embracing the power of toddlers....

Sure, toddlers may want to help, but let's face reality here.  At first, they really can't do much.  They can be clumsy and destructive and even enraging. Their involvement in chores often slows things down or makes a mess.

For this reason, many parents in Western culture rebuff a toddler's offer to help, Mejia-Arauz says. 

"We have mothers tell us things like, 'I need to do a chore very quickly, and if my toddler tries to help he makes a mess.  So I'd rather do it myself than having them helping,'" she says.

In many instances, Western moms tell the toddlers to go and play while they do the chores, she says.

But moms with indigenous heritage often do the exact opposite.

First, they give toddlers the opportunity to watch the chores as often as possible.  "They invite them over by saying something like, 'Come, my child, and help me while I wash the dishes,'" Mejia-Arauz says.

 Then if the child wants to participate, "they are welcome," she says, even if it means going more slowly or if the mom has to redo the task.

 "For example, one mom told us: 'When my toddler was doing the dishes, at the beginning, the water was all over the place, but I would allow my son to do the dishes because that's how he learned,'" she says.

 The moms see it as an investment, Mejia-Arauz says: Encourage the messy, incompetent toddler who really wants to do the dishes now, and over time, he'll turn into the competent 7-year-old who still wants to help.

A few more words really resonated with me.  I'll underline them in these quotes:

"Sometimes people think that to get children to do chores, like Maya kids do, the parents must be doing a really good job of controlling the kids," says Barbara Rogoff of UC Santa Cruz.  But actually, the opposite is true.

"The aim is not to control the kids, but rather to develop the child's own initiative," she adds.

To do that, indigenous parents don't force kids to help.  They encourage the child and offer opportunities to participate when the child is interested.

Forcing the child actually has the opposite effect, Rogoff says.  It can generate resistance.

 "Just like adults, kids don't like being bossed around," she says.  "Asking a little kid, 'Could you help me with this?' often gets them on board more often than simply saying, 'You must do this.'"

 *****

...Says the University of New Hampshire's Andrew Coppens: "Early opportunities to collaborate with parents likely sets off a developmental trajectory that leads to children voluntarily helping and pitching in at home." 

Anyway, I have already been doing quite a bit of thinking about how to be more collaborative in my parenting and less authoritarian.  To be sure, I already thought of myself as low-key, patient, respectful of children as human beings, and thoughtful.  But as I hinted yesterday about non-violence, being the mother of my daughter for the last five years has shown me to be rather lacking in these ways.  I have long looked at myself as "authoritative" rather than "authoritarian", but again, experience has proven me wrong on many occasions.  My eldest has a very strong personality, likes to run the show, is very verbally and physically expressive in communicating good and the bad, and can be aggressive in getting what she wants and needs.  Most efforts to help her "obey" create the opposite effect from what her parents desire.  This child is not compliant in any way.  I have a lot to learn in helping her grow. 

As a side note, there is a grandmother in our church who often comes up to me and tells me how much she loves watching Anne and watching me with Anne.  She raised five children herself, and frankly, before I could see it, she told me that Anne had a very strong personality, which can be difficult for a parent, but it is a very good trait for her to have in the long run, and I was doing a great job with her.  I do appreciate her encouragement, since before I even knew I needed it!

I'm not down on Anne.  She is fiercely intelligent and enterprising and social, and frankly she is a big help around the house, especially with her brother.  They can play together for hours, and sure, they get into fights, but she is good at watching him, so I feel fine letting them out in the yard together unsupervised.

Having read this article, I am glad that I have let Anne help with me a lot of things around the house since she was little, but I can see that my Western-based parenting style is still not entirely suited to helping her become her best self. 

Friends

The point of non-violence isn't non-violence.  It is to turn an enemy into a friend....

...That is why Jesus was willing to drink the cup of suffering.  To turn enemies into friends.

 This is a quote from a sermon given by our very young, scholarly, and wise-beyond-his years pastor, Abner Campos, yesterday.  I am frequently convicted by this young man's words, and yesterday was no exception.  He spoke yesterday on John 18, which I will share from in the Message, with one alteration to better represent the Greek and its reference to Exodus:

Jesus, having prayed this prayer, left with his disciples and crossed over the brook Kidron at a place where there was a garden.  He and his disciples entered it.

[Adam fell in a Garden.  Jesus was in a Garden, ready to give up his life to redeem Adam's family.]

Judas, his betrayer, knew the place because Jesus and his disciples went there often.  So Judas led the way to the garden, and the Roman soldiers and police sent by the high priests and Pharisees followed.  They arrived there with lanterns and torches and swords.  Jesus, knowing by now everything that was coming down on him, went out and met them.  He said, "Who are you after?"

They answered, "Jesus the Nazarene."

He said, "I AM."  The soldiers recoiled, totally taken aback.  Judas, his betrayer, stood out like a sore thumb.

Jesus asked again, "Who are you after?"

They answered, "Jesus the Nazarene."

"I told you," said Jesus, "I AM.  I AM he.  So if it's me you're after, let these others go."  (This validated his prayer, "I didn't lose one of those you gave.")

Just then Simon Peter [a fisherman, not a swordsman!], who was carrying a sword, pulled it from its sheath and struck the Chief Priest's servant, cutting off his right ear.  Malchus was the servant's name.

Jesus ordered Peter, "Put back your sword.  Do you think for a minute I'm not going to drink this cup the Father gave me?"

And the synoptics tell us that Jesus actually healed Malchus on the spot.  At his darkest moment, the moment when there was no return, Jesus revealed God's healing love, and his non-violent character.

Jesus was going to die so that these enemies could be his friends.  The kingdom of God does not come in by force.  Our God is creative, kind, and willing to go to every length to love us. 

Sometimes it seemed easy to me to walk in the character of God.  Then I had kids.  It turns out I can now see all along that it is easy for me to become demanding, unkind, unwilling, unloving, rude, and rough.  There is much about God's character I have yet to understand and to assimilate.  God's way is not the world's way.  It is not religion's way.  It is not the natural human way. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hello Summer

Wednesday we switched over to our summer teaching schedule, after finishing up our school-year teaching in Gig Harbor on Tuesday.  As Friday was the first of June, I thought it was time to organize my *summer*.  Bits and pieces of it have been lying around, but I got serious.  It was time for the three-ring binder and the three-hole punch and the section tabs.

I'm feeling quite intense about the summer, as there are some major projects I'm hoping to get shored up before a new and different school year arrives with new group class challenges and a new little person arriving the first week of October.  I am spending lots of time working on the projects for my family and pretty much saying No to everything else.

I have three calendar pages - one for June, July, and August each.  Penciled in are my lessons, rehearsals, doctor's appointments, (fun outtings!), and workshops.  Only three workshops this summer - our three-day group class workshop with Anita, Walla Walla Suzuki Institute, and Japan-Seattle Institute.  This is still definitely a work in progress.

Then I have my project pages.  Each page is the home of brainstorms and lists, subject to expansion as the need strikes.  Page one is for the chamber concert I'm playing twice in August with Jared, Linda, and Adam from Cleveland, as well as editing Jared's materials for his Dalcroze license portfolio.

The longest list so far is the page for House Stuff.  Current headings include Chairs, Doors, Kid Room, Garage Clean Out, Hutch of Doom, Kitchen, Windows, Remodel, Seating, Laundry Area, Baseboards, Yard, Litter Boxes, and Digesters.  My great hope is that we get far enough on the garage remodel that in the fall we can have a new room for group class, and two bedrooms rather than one.  I'm not holding my breath, but I'm working hard on it.

Then there's the page for the Group Class Workshop, which will become obsolete by the end of June, as we will have in fact, already had our workshop.

I have a short page for Baby Stuff.  There's Birth Center Tour, Car Seats, Baby Tub, Rock 'n Play, Maternity Leave and Postpartum Plans, Potty Train Lazarus (ackkk!!!!), and Baby Names.  Also one *frivolous* spot called "Make 1 Thing for Baby" because I really want to, although I don't yet know what it will be.  Most of these items are pretty quick, one-shot deals.

There is a page which is called Recruiting, which is not probably going to be very involved, since I think we may have some students flowing our way, but there are few recruiting tactics we may need to take...

The final project page involves a lot of thinking and conversing with Jared.  It's called School Year 2018-2019 Planning.  It involves changes to our fees, our calendar, structuring our parental leave, figuring out our new group class plan (sadly without Anita - the drive is too big of a factor for next year with Anne in school and the new baby), coming up with our performance goals for the students, and how to build for the future...

Lastly in the notebook, I have my chamber parts which I am practicing.  We're doing the Schubert Bb Piano Trio, and the Brahms G Minor Piano Quartet.  Although I am not practicing a lot, I need to keep up with it at least a little bit every day, because I can't suddenly get in shape and perform at the top of my game from nothing.

Two house projects I've been working on the last few days....  One of them involved buying a bag of 100 used tennis balls from a lady in West Seattle.  (It's a much shorter drive over there now, and I'm sorry I didn't get to hang out on the beach and eat ice cream with Lazarus, but rather sat in the 7-Eleven parking lot waiting for my contact to meet me on Wednesday evening.)  I am cutting X's in the balls and attaching them to the bottoms of furniture so that we don't scratch up our wood floors.  I have cut 38 of them so far.  I also plan to dye them with cheap hair dye, but I haven't worked on that portion of the project yet.

The other is our new interior doors (hallelujah!!!)  I special ordered them from a place in Shoreline and borrowed a van from one of my student families to go pick them up.  They look EXACTLY like the original doors, except no layers of lead paint to try to remove.  Jared has helped me disassemble the first two while I layer on the fresh, white paint in the garage.  Also, you can see the *loveliness* of the garage.  I have a LOT more stuff to unpack, sort through, organize, and hopefully offload so that we can use this space for teaching.  After major remodeling, of course.  I gave a lady from Freecycle 24 empty boxes this week.  So I'm headed in the right direction.