Blogging streak continues...

You wouldn't want to miss out on my Before shots.  This is what the apartment looks like before students come for their lessons.  I'll leave you to imagine the beauty that is the After shots, meaning what the apartment looks like at the moment students arrive.

The view upon opening the front door

The view upon turning right to go into the living room where I teach

Now you know what I spend my time doing when I'm not teaching...

More than a year after I started, I finished my sister's wedding present in time for her first anniversary coming up this Sunday.  I'll post a picture after she receives it.  It looks homemade, but what do you know - it is homemade!  And hopefully also cute.

I went crazy with the camera over the weekend, taking sort of "art" shots of Anne - I got a whole bunch where she was playing at the sliding glass door and you can see her reflection in it.  I think I got a little carried away, but I'll share a few good ones here.

Sunday, the start of a new week

Seven blogs in seven days.  Don't expect this to happen regularly.

Slept in today.  Got back on a bunch of emails.  Tried to catch up on my Bible study stuff.  Made and sent off a practice recording for one of my students who is playing a tricky Star Wars arrangement in orchestra.  Made my favorite pancakes for breakfast.  Went running for the first time in a week.  Did a couple loads of laundry.  Will soon do some more practicing and then go to Linda's to get some help with the sewing machine.  So nothing notable.

Except that I had sort of stuff this phrase in the back of mind and now I'm unshelving it and putting it up front:

1 Corinthians 11:26 "For every time you eat this bread and drink this cup, you are announcing the Lord's death until he comes again."

Italics mine.

Jared is practicing and every time he comes to a substantial cadence with a rest, Anne is hollering and clapping.  Also, it was very important to her today to wear her kitty shirt.  She saw it in the (dirty) laundry basket and insisted on holding it and wearing it.  At least it wasn't too messy compared to some other things in that basket.

In case you're missing out on facebook, here are two recent baby pictures for your enjoyment...

Finally it's Saturday

Last night's play list:

In the Sweet By and By
Handel Messiah Excerpt
How Deep the Father's Love for Us
Jesus, Draw Me Ever Nearer
I'll Fly Away
Thy Hand, O God, Has Guided
Down in the River to Pray

Kinda an eclectic mix, but it was less odd sounding since all of it occurred on the same violin and cello.  Jeffrey and Linda came, too, and ate dinner and played with Anne while we were playing.  We all met a very outgoing three-year-old named Landon who came up on the platform between songs and said, "Nice to meet you," to me.  She also wanted to hug Anne about a million times later on.  Not a shy bone in her body.

Anne has gotten even more into clapping this week.  She hears a cadence coming, and she's ready.  As soon as the tune is over she is clapping and hollering.  *Eeeeeeehhhhhhhh* *clap clap clap clap* For students in lessons and at performances.  Super cute!

A friend asked me the other day how I was enjoying motherhood, and the facts are that I've been looking forward to it my whole life, but I didn't realize how fun it would be.

Also, I was thinking this week about how much I love having visitors.  I realize that most of you, my dear friends and relatives, don't have unlimited time or funds, but if you felt like coming to visit I'd be super excited, and I can even promise you an air mattress and pillows in the piano room, clean bath towels, and unlimited beans and rice.  Other than our in-town family we haven't had any visitors in quite some time, which is rather sad.

I'm getting excited about my trip to MSP in May to the Suzuki conference but even more to visit my very good friend Beth and meet her son.  And also an as-of-yet unscheduled trip to AUS.  Was supposed to go in June to teach at a camp in Waco and that fell through, so I have to replace it with something else...

TGIFriday

First of all, I've had the chance to tell three friends I'm proud of them this week:

• A friend on the East Coast who has felt trapped is looking for new opportunities to pursue and new areas to grow in, rather than just slogging along.
• A friend in the Mid West has pursued some information about managing finances and is taking steps to improve her family's financial situation.
• My husband took action in contacting and communicating thoroughly with someone he's afraid is making a mistake and did so kindly and compassionately.

Second of all, here's a funny baby tidbit.  Anne has a little screech owl  puppet given to her by her aunt and uncle, and by manipulating a little rod inside, the owl can turn its head.  This lends itself to copying Annie's trick "shaky shaky".  When we were playing in the baby room at Bible study on Tuesday, Anne saw a picture of a screech owl in a book, and she immediately started doing "shaky shaky."

Third of all, here's today's schedule:

11:00-12:30 Lessons at home

1:00-3:00 Trio rehearsal in Renton

3:30-4:15 Lessons at home

4:15-ish Duo rehearsal, service baby, get dressed

5:00-something Drive south during rush hour!

6:15 Sound check in Edgewood

7:00-7:30 Play church outreach gig in Edgewood

Tagging along with that, I'll just say that my child has been very patient with all the extra here and there this week.  She's been a little more melt-down-y than usual, but not very much.  Besides all this hauling around to unfamiliar places, she's also working on some new molars.  The results of it yesterday were two times of tears involving cats:  the first time she was hugging and patting Nutmeg a bit too roughly and Nutmeg finally hauled off and bopped her with a paw (no claws - Nutmeg is very gentle) and moved out of reach, and poor Anne was crying for quite some time pointing to the cat and saying "that!"  And while we were hanging around at Group Class House after the teaching was done, Anne was very gently petting a little black kitten, who decided it was too shy and ran away, and poor girl erupted into tears again, because the kitty left and she couldn't find it.  

Anyway, we're planning on a quiet weekend, because it's been a little much for all of us.

Thursday

Not much to report.

Started the day coaching a quartet on the theme from Schindler's List and Concerning Hobbits.  A nice way to begin, if you ask me.  Didn't get rained on during our walk.  Complete failure of sewing machine operator.  Emailed sewing machine owner to ask for a tutorial.  I was already scared of them, and this latest "disaster" is not adding to my sewing machine confidence.  Perhaps this will occur on Sunday and then I can get on with my project.  Will be going early to group class and maybe teaching a lesson while I wait.  After group class I'll be teaching another lesson.  Baby is taking a long nap, and I hope she doesn't miss her opportunity for lunch before we leave.  Load of diapers in.  Going to try to practice a bit with the mute on in the hopes of not waking her.  Cello lesson currently unfolding in the living room.

Wednesday

It begins with Tuesday evening.  I picked up Annie from her nap, dumped her into her carseat, where she promptly fell back asleep (this is a miracle) and hauled us up to Bellevue College, which is right across the street from the Seattle LDS Temple, if you needed to know.  It's a good thing I had it in my head that the concert started at 7:00, so I had lots of time to "be" before we played.  Start time actually wasn't until 7:30 and we didn't play 'til about 8:20.  We were the last act before intermission.  We didn't stay for the second half, due to the lateness of it all.  I used to play gigs like this at Eastman all the time, but I lived across the street (not three freeways away) and didn't have a baby in tow.

However, I did, for a while, play with a quartet who called ourselves the Eastwomen, and there were some gigs which involved baby Padraig, son of our cellist.  There was the gig for our other violinist's husband (who was a grad student in composition) wherein we were hanging out in the green room  waiting to go on with a bunch of college students who felt rather odd about the infant in their midst.

Anne and I spent some time in a practice room last night, where: 1) She stood in an arm chair and played the piano while I warmed up, and 2) She needed to nurse, especially having missed dinner due to her nap, and I had to do some creative undressing, since I was wearing concert clothes.  And we also spent quite a bit of time in the green room where it was fun to see all the personalities of the performers - beyond chill, nervous, chatty, focussed.  It was a lot for Anne to put up with in unfamiliar surroundings, but she got her hear her friends Anne and Keely perform from the theater wings, and she got to play with them while we were performing.  They put Keely's strippy gloves onto her feet to turn her into a Dr. Seuss creature.  I heard her "that"-ing in the wings during our Schulhoff.

Anyway, it was fun, but it was kind of an ordeal compared to past gigs of the sort!  Jared and I hauled into the E building, having arrived in two separate cars, carrying two cellos, a violin, two music stands, two music binders, a diaper bag, water bottles, a car seat and blanket, a sling, and a 20-ish pound child, not to mention the marble rock stop and various odds and ends.  When we got home, it was past bath time, but dinner was fed first to the one who slept through it.

Today we hauled the same assemblage in two cars via two different routes back to Bellevue to play a little concert at a homeschool co op.  Before that I de-junkified our apartment in anticipation of this afternoon's lessons.  I should have taken "before" pictures.  It is amazing the level of trashing which can occur by bedtime around here.   I also wrote an email to a studio parent warning about the dangers of purchasing VSO's on amazon (that's "violin shaped objects") - they look nice on the wall, but don't try to play them.  You'll be sorry.

Going to do some laundry (cat barfed on the bed while we were gone), and set up the rice cooker before my violin students arrive.

Tuesday

Yesterday was unusual on two accounts.  I mention these, not to gloat, but because both were unexpected:  1) Anne slept 15 hours, only nursing once in the night, and not getting up until 12:15.  2)  It was 70 degrees and sunny - perfect summer weather.

Today I ended up hanging out in the baby class at Bible study, so I did not end up having to discuss heaven and hell, so that is probably all to the good.  Instead, I got to spend time with Anne as well as with little Micah, little Jonah, little Will, little Emily, little Ellie, and little Lily.  There was a short period of time when five of the aforementioned were crying at once, and we only had four adults, so there was an adult (not me) with two crying babies at once.  Otherwise it was pretty fun, and with the exception of one baby, every other baby had rather long hair.  At least compared to Anne.  Not used to holding a tiny person and having all that fluff touching my cheek.

I'm NOT planning to go into a discussion on heaven and hell here, but I will just say that a lot of our conception of what they mean and/or are like comes from the history of Western culture from ancient times up to today's TV shows and has little to do with the Bible.  The Bible doesn't give a lot of answers about heaven and hell, and some of what is mentioned is symbolic.  Also, the word "hell" doesn't actually appear in the Bible.  That is an English word which is, for historical reasons, used to translate several different terms including "Sheol," "Gehenna," "Hades," and "Tartarus."  Anyway, I'm going to just stop there.  I'll let you sense my irritation at misunderstandings of the Bible authors through everything I don't say at this point.  :-)

On to better things.  I'm going to be spending the next several minutes working on the music/presentation for our gig on Friday and eating dinner before I wake up Anne, get dressed up, and haul us up to Bellevue for tonight's performance of Schulhoff.

Happy Monday to you!

The only event on the calender for this past weekend was attending church, which was pretty nice.  So in addition we went on some long walks, including one with my brother and his wife (viewing the neighborhood llamas and trees in full bloom as well as catching up on whatever we've missed the last couple of weeks), rehearsed for our events of the week, and I got closer to finishing my sister's wedding present, and we Skyped with Texas.  In case you don't remember, my sister got married the day before Anne was born, which was almost a year ago.  I set myself a deadline to finish making the present by her first anniversary.  It's gonna happen, so help me.  We also got an updated notice about our porch having some problem violating our lease, and I have no idea what that's about, since we're allowed to have potted plants and porch furniture and a doormat, and that is the sum total of what's out there.  So when Anne wakes up I'm calling the office to get someone over here to inspect the porch with me and tell me what the deal is.  Also on Sunday we rehearsed for our Tuesday and Wednesday performances this week and got ourselves suddenly signed up for a Friday performance.  Tuesday we're playing on the Bellevue Community College End-of-Quarter Chamber Concert on which two of my students are playing.  We're doing the 2nd and 4th movements of the Schulhoff Duo, a very exciting Gypsy-inspired piece written in 1929.  This is a recruiting attempt on our part.  Wednesday morning we're doing a half-hour performance at a homeschool co-op, also in Bellevue, that two of our students are members of.  Also a recruiting attempt.  That performance will include the 3rd mov. of the Bach E Major Violin Concerto, an aria and chorus from Handel's Messiah, Rebecca Clarke's Lullaby, the first two movements of the Handel Violin Sonata in F Major (not actually written by Handel), and the Cirri Duo No. 3.  The sudden Friday performance puts us as the opening act for a high school worship band at something called North Hill Cafe, which is a monthly event sponsored by a church down in Milton, I think?  Anyway, they provide a meal and an evening of religious music for free.  So we're planning to play a couple of contemporary Christian songs:  How Deep the Father's Love for Us  and Jesus Draw Me Ever Nearer; a few gospel songs: I'll Fly Away, In the Sweet By and By, Jesus Help Me to Stand, and Down to the River to Pray; and we're going to throw in the aforementioned Handel Messiah extract for good measure.  This is going to happen provided we can move three students and a rehearsal with our pianist for our April 27th (PAYING concert!!!!!) around to allow us to show up on time for this gig having warmed up and such...  Also, this morning I worked on my Bible study questions for tomorrow - did some look-up of Greek and Hebrew words for heaven and hell, since my understandings of what those things mean might be at odds with the majority views in our discussion group, picked up my pennies off the floor (I use them for games in violin lessons, and Anne uses them to entertain herself by flinging them around), and read an article from the NY Times about what happened in Waco from the Branch Davidians' point of view, which was quite sobering and leads me back to those thoughts from a previous week about religious freedom...  Also I cleaned up some cat barf and ate breakfast.  Still need to scrub the bathroom, sweep, and vacuum before my students show up, and figure out why the printer isn't printing off the songs I need for our rehearsal this evening.  And take out the trash.  Do the dishes.  Take a shower.  Practice a little.  Throw in the diaper laundry when Anne wakes up.  Anyway, yes, I don't want to do all these things, so that's why I'm sitting here writing a blog instead.  Happy Monday to you!

Pondering sin, Part 2

My first post about sin generated more interested than I expected.  In fact, I had two different essays written and sent to me in response by two different, dear people - my mother and my friend Leah.  Based on some of the things they said, it is clear to me that I was rather unclear in my last "ponderation".  Can't promise this one will be any better.

********

To be very clear, I believe that sin is, in one way, a huge, horrible, impersonal force of rebellion, destruction, death, and chaos, which is reigning in our world.  It affects absolutely everything, probably even in ways we can't fathom.  I can't even begin to imagine a sin-free world: one without hurts, without sickness, without oppression, without death, without traps, without falsehoods, without disputes without police, prisons, doctors, hospitals, nursing homes...  

*******

I am a person who takes a sort of global view of things.  I hear about specific instances and I knit them together in my mind into an overarching principle.  Then sometimes I forget the specific instances.  However, when someone else makes an overarching statement, I usually can't understand it well without the specifics, because my mind doesn't always go well the opposite way.  

Anyway, that is to say, I find the specific lists of sins in various places in the Bible (e.g.  Colossians 3:5 "fornication, impurity, passion, evil desire, and greed (which is idolatry)") to be very helpful, because then I am not left guessing what personal sin is.

*******

The reason I am pondering sin is that I am trying to recover from two errors, which I alluded to in the previous post:

On the one hand I am overwhelmed by the hugeness and horribleness and inescapableness of sin that I am sure God can never be pleased with me as a person.  He can't possibly love someone so caught up in the web of grossness and so evil to the core by virtue of existing.

Which throws me over to the other error.  If that is the case, maybe God's grace is so enormous and so dictatorial that God doesn't care to hold any of us accountable for sin, because he is going to fix everything and we'll all be changed into what he wants us to be without any effort on our part.

There is some truth in both errors, but there is also something insidious in each.  I'm not going to get in a fight with you if you are Calvinist or Pelagian (or anything else!), but at this point I'm thinking that the Arminian view of original sin is the best understanding of a God who loves our freedom but hates sin.

******

Here is a rough quote of something I heard on a tape about eight years ago.  The tape was part of a series by a fellow named Graham Maxwell called "Conversations about God."

Sadness and sin and sorrow will be wiped away in the new earth.  But that isn't to say there will not be mistakes.  One day you might be out working in your yard, and the Savior will walk by and say, "Your fruit tree there looks like it is planted a little too close to the house."  So you'll dig it up and move it to a better location.

This little side note to the lecture was a watershed in my thinking.  It had never occurred to me that there could be a difference between committing a sin and making a mistake.  The difference as far as their effect on other people or your environment might be quite similar, but the difference as far as your relationship with God would be radically different.

*******

I've read Alden Thompson's book Inspiration twice and I plan to read it again.  It is very nourishing and fortifying, and I'm pretty sure I've alluded to it on my blog before.  He talks from the viewpoint of a Biblical scholar who loves not just the Scriptures but the Jesus they point to, about what it means to say the Bible is inspired, and what it does not mean.  It's a very balanced, middle-of-the-road perspective.  And I bring this up, because I appreciate his take on God's Law.  He refers to it as The One, The Two, The Ten, and The Many.  

The One: God is Love

But if you don't get that, the Bible will break it down into...

The Two: Love God, Love your neighbor

But if you don't get that, the Bible will break it down into...

The Ten: No other gods before God, No idols, Don't take God's name in vain, Keep the Sabbath holy, Honor your father and mother, Don't murder, Don't commit adultery, Don't steal, Don't bear false witness, Don't covet

But if you don't get that, the Bible breaks it down into...

The Many: There are lots of different proscriptions and prohibitions, many of which are for specific people in specific times and places to help them live up to The One.  They may not all apply to all people in all times and all places.

In a certain time and place, God's people were told they were not to wear clothing of mixed fibers.  And obedience to this command must have been important, because they needed this symbolic reminder not to mix God's ways with the ways of the pagan gods.  That command is not for today, however, I don't think.

******

In a sermon in Cleveland, Pastor Carlton once said something about how he didn't understand why God didn't reveal he awfulness of polygamy to the patriarchs who were so earnest about following God.  And he wondered whether there were some other such sins of today that God is not revealing to us.  I've thought about that for years, and my answer for today is that God looks at our hearts to see what we need most instruction about in order to be rightly related to him.  And maybe, knowing the hearts of the patriarchs, God saw that polygamy was a better error for them to fall into than some other alternative, and he had bigger fish to fry in other areas of their lives.  Maybe the same is true of us today.

I surely believe that taking competing wives is not what God wants for us.  I would say it is sinful.  Yet, I don't think God is going to hold those people who didn't know better accountable for it.  They had some messed up families because of it.  But I think God's grace covers the error of their time.  Likewise, I believe that God is not going to hold me accountable for that which I am unaware, and that his grace will cover not only my confessed sin, but my sin which I don't even know is sinful.

******

Perhaps I will receive some more essays.  I already have a nice long reading list going on this topic, and probably a part 3 to this series will occur some time in the future.

True Confessions of a Dumpster Diver

*ahem*

My first dumpster dive was at a summer program in Colorado when I was 16-ish.  Looking out the window of my dorm room, I saw a man carefully place a small television in the dumpster.  As soon as he left, I went and picked it out.  My roommates and I plugged it in and found that it worked just fine.  The only thing missing was the knob to tune the station.  However, the little sprig which the  knob attached to was still there, and with the forcible use of scissors it could be adjusted.  So anyway, there was a bit of late-night TV viewed now and then in our room.  I have to say, there was pretty much nothing on...  After the summer was over, the TV was donated to my brother for use as spare parts.

That was the preamble to today's spectacular dumpster dive.  Now I have to say, a lot of people in our apartment complex throw away some pretty nice things, and I've inspected several of them since we've lived here to consider bringing them in.  I hate to see useful things thrown away.  Why don't these people use Craigslist or Freecycle?  Anyway, this one was in very good condition and too good to pass up.  And also very large.  I measured it with my arms, returned to the apartment to see if I could find a place for it, and sure, enough, success.  I went out with the intention of hauling it the 30yards or so home on my own - no easy feat, but just as I started, our wonderful neighbor Luis saw me, and I asked if he'd help.  He and his wife were happy to, and let's just say that tomorrow I'm baking them some cookies.  We left the object in our hallway, and then I had to get Anne occupied to finish my work on the relocation project.  I set her up in her high chair with a banana (it was lunch time) and her favorite YouTube video of Corelli's Christmas Concerto, and checked on her every three minutes or so.  First I had to put the box spring back under our mattress, which I could now do, because Anne is big enough to get off the higher bed safely now.  And I had to move the random things (e.g. laundry basket) which were sitting where this thing would go.  Then I had to vacuum.  And I had to take some things off the wall.  Then I personally moved the thing into the spot, which took a little ingenuity and a lot of brute force.  Then I found new spots for the junk off the floor and rehung the wall decorations.  I'll mention that all of this occurred while Jared was at work, so he came home to a completely new bedroom.  Here's the result:

Two other dumpster finds of the past...

The upper-right black and white print of Ansel Adams' Mt. McKinley picture was found in Cleveland:

The bookshelf was found in Birmingham:

Meet the *Other* Diapers

So it turns out the first post about diapers was way more popular than I thought.  So now I'm following it up with a little post about the other cloth diapers we have but don't use and have sold/are selling.

The first thing you should know about cloth diapers is that they don't fit every kid the same, so just because someone else's kid loved a certain model doesn't mean it will work for you.  So the moral of the story is - try out ONE of a certain model several times to be sure it works on your child before you go out and buy a whole pile of them.  Also, if you don't have an in-house washing machine, just stick with the paper diapers.  We use the paper diapers for airline trips - don't need to pack the whole house that way and the throw-away factor is awesome when you don't have access to a comfy bathroom arrangement en-route.

Just because we didn't use/don't like these following items doesn't mean that you wouldn't like them.  (And hey, if you know of anyone who wants to buy any of them from me, let me know!)

This above is the first item I sold.  Kinda looks like a cooked turkey, except in green.  I actually regret not using this.  It's a wool diaper cover which fits like pants up to about 15 lbs.  You just add a top and you've got a very functional outfit.  You have to lanolize wool like this, and I never looked up how to do it.  Many cloth-diaper hippies prefer only natural fibers, so this is the answer to the PUL on some of the other covers.  If I had to do it all over again, I might be way more hippie and use little covers like this over hemp and/or organic cotton diapers.  I at least have long enough hair for the deal...

These are fleece wipes, which I've also already sold.  They're quite functional, but I had been given a ton of soft baby washcloths which we used for wipes, and before I'd been given those I went out a bought a square of fleece at the fabric store and cut it into squares for the purpose.  Anyway, these were marketable and someone was delighted to buy them.

Here are some diaper covers on the auction block:

This is a Bummis Original Wrap size XS.  It seemed to soak through for us every time.  I think it's one of their older models without the PUL.  Also, I have a moist child.

Here are two Bummis Super Brites with the PUL - just didn't seem to fit her right, but at least they're cute!

These covers are the ProRap Classics.  We used them when she was little, but they never seemed to get the whole diaper covered, and we always had leaks with them.  However, if you had the right diaper underneath, I'm sure they'd do the job, because they are very water-proof.  

This is a wool cover from Swaddlebees in size large.  Even on its skinniest setting, I don't think it would ever fit my little girl.  You use this one with pads of your choice or a narrowly-folded prefold.  This one is probably hippie enough for the natural fibers crowd.

Speaking of hippie and natural fibers, here are some diapers (as opposed to covers) which fit the bill:

1) Ecobaby Organics One-size diapers with snap-in doublers.   Would work for a big chubby toddler.  "One-size" fits BIG kids.

2) Kissaluvs Organic Cotton/Hemp Diaper size M/L, including snap-in doubler

3) Happy Heineys Happy Hempys, size large.  These are a pocket diaper, and you can see a "Stuffins" on the right.  Meant to be used with a cover.  Lots of bulk, and my kid isn't this big.

And sorry, to be a little gross here, but we're talking about diapers.  These things are a liner that you can put in the diaper to shake solids off more easily into a toilet.  They make disposable ones of these, too.  We've not bothered...

These two are pocket diapers from Rumparooz.  They are fully adjustable to all sizes, and come with an insert and a snap-on doubler.  These were well-used when I got them as part of a Craigslist package, and they need the leg elastics replaced.  Decided not to bother, because they didn't seem like the best fit...

And last, but not least, I have this whole stash of Fuzzibunz One-Size pocket diapers, including stuffing and extra elastics.  These are a pretty cool concept - the leg and waist elastics have button holes every half inch or so, so that they can be adjusted size-wise on the internal buttons to fit any kids.  Lots of snaps on the front to fit kids sizes 7-35 lbs.  Some people love these and others hate them.  I bought them from a mom who loved them.  I'm guessing her son had chubby legs.  From what I've read, these are great for about 50% of babies, and useless for about 50% of babies.  We're in that second category.  The way the tabs fit on there's just a bit of one sticking up and it very efficiently wicks the moisture from inside the diaper directly onto the clothes.  Useless.  Anyway, this stack is taking up way too much room in the apartment, and I would like to get some of my money back on it.  If you know someone who likes these diapers, I've got a great deal for them. 

Meet the Diapers

I know this will be a popular post.  :-p

Got a stash of cloth diapers from Leah before Anne was born.  Lately it's been revamped - some items put on the auction block which don't work for my girl - and also new larger items added.  So this is your *very exciting* chance to meet the diapers which have been good friends to us.  Also a chance for the "old folks" to see how cloth diapering is a bit different these days from the ol' square and pins deal.

 This is your standard Kissaluvs diaper, size 0, snapped to its smallest setting.  We have a ton of these, and they fit your standard small newborn, such as what we had.

As you can see, this is obviously not water proof, so after you snap on the diaper, you put on a cover:

The top cover we only have one of - Thirsties, size XS.  The bottom one - Bummis Super Whisper Wrap, size S - we have several of, including some with snaps rather than the velcro/aplix.  Both are real winners - keep the wet off the clothes.  They are both made with a material coated on one side with PUL (polyurethane laminate).  Some people don't like the Thirsties, because there is only one layer of material and the PUL can touch the baby's skin.  The Bummis are double-layered, so only fabric touches the skin.  

This has been our go-to diaper system.  As Anne has grown, the Kissaluvs, size 0, were getting small, but - ha!  About half of our stash has the elastics pretty much worn out, so then you can wear them at larger sizes.  Here is another Kissaluvs, size 0, elastic mostly shot, put at the largest size setting:

At a certain point she got moister than these babies could handle easily, so we started adding another cloth pad in.

Anyway, the child finally outgrew these, and outgrew lying still long enough to have both a diaper and a cover snapped on to her.  So we moved on to a similar system, which we bought new from a website which does packaged deals for shockingly little money.

The centerpiece of the current system is the good, old-fashioned prefold:

Rather than folding the thing lengthwise like in the old days, you fold it this way:

Then you lay it in a Bummis Super Whisper Wrap, size M (this fits 15-30 lb. kids).  And it's kinda huge on my skinny girl still, but it works:

So those have been our two basic diaper systems - one in size small, one in size medium. 

We have another category of diaper - what we'd call "easy" diapers, which includes pocket diapers, hybrid diapers, and all-in-ones.  These are handy for when you're out and about, when you have a baby sitter, and when you want to leave a diaper on overnight.

We've got three of these hybrid diapers, made by GroBaby.  I don't think they make these any more, and there have been some complaints about them.  I wouldn't go out and buy them, but they have served us well.  Here's the green one closed:

When it's open, it looks like this:

The liner, which is the absorbent part snaps out of the cover.  We have one in purple, and one also in orange.

Here's an all-in-one from Bum Genius, size small.  It also has a pocket, so you can stuff it with extra inserts for overnight absorbancy.  This was a pretty leak-proof diaper she used when she was smaller for overnight.  

We've got three more pocket diapers from Bum Genius which are one-size fits all from 7-30 lbs.  These puppies are fantastic.  They are pretty leak proof, and you can stuff LOTS of pads in.  They have snaps on the front to adjust the height of the waist.  One of them fastens with aplix like the one you see above, and the other two are snap closure.  These things aren't cheap, but they function and you can use them over and over.  In this picture, Anne is modeling one in her sleep which is on the largest size setting and loaded with pads:

We have an all-in-one from SposoEasy, which I didn't photograph.  It's fine, and we use it when going out and about, but it's not leakproof after a certain amount of wetting, and I wouldn't send you out to buy one.  

The Cadillac of diapers in our stash is the TotsBots Easy Fit.  Here it is on the smallest setting.  It also fits newborn through 30 lbs.  We've got four - one came in the Leah stash and I got three more used from a diaper trading site.

 It's an all-in-one diaper where the absorbant liner is twice the length of the diaper.  It folds into the pocket.  And since it has a pocket, you can add as many more pads as you like.  This is the ultimate baby-sitter diaper.  It's as easy to use as a disposable, and you can stuff it up and it won't leak if your kid sleeps 12 hours overnight.

Here you can see the thing snapped open to its largest size.

If you're looking for easy and price is no cost - buy these things brand-new from the family factory in Scotland.  If you buy about 24 of these, you are set and need nothing else other than maybe a few prefolds or pads to stuff for the night.  But that's it: 24 of these could last you the whole diapering career for more than one child, day in and day out.  Spendy, but compare that to buying disposables...

A couple drawbacks to cloth diapers - you do have to wash them every other day or so.  In additive-free detergent.  And some occasionally need "stripping".  And they're bulkier than paper.  And you do need to change them every two hours during the day...

Anyway, I love them.  Just saying.

It was a wonderful, full weekend...

...so I didn't get to a number of things I'd sort of mentally reserved for that time.

We'd forgotten that Saturday was going to be devoted to the study of religious liberty at our church.  We remembered once we got there for the service!  We ended up staying all day until 5:00 pm and hearing about five hours of sermons and lectures on the topic.  Lots of great information about different views of religious freedom in the East and West, Constitutional history, and about current events.  The speaker, whose job in our denomination office involves reading scholarly books and journals about anything pertaining to religious freedom, monitoring legislation in five states to make sure it is friendly to religious freedom, and speaking in various locations and countries on the topic, was an equal-opportunity offender to both the Secular Left and the Religious Right, explaining how agendas on both sides of the aisle are in danger of hurting religious freedom and freedom of speech.  Anyway, I'm all fired up now to defend your right to believe, practice, and preach things I don't agree with.  And hoping you'll respect my right to do the same.  Also, if anyone is interested in receiving a free, 6-times-a-year, well-thought-out, balanced magazine about religious liberty around the world, put out by our church, with contributors from many different faiths, let me know.  It's yours.

Sunday morning I taught several hours of masterclass for a Seattle teacher who wanted some of her students to get some input from someone other than her.  It was really fun.  I always worry before something like this that I won't have anything good to say - that the students will play too well for me to be able to help them.  Anyway, some of them did play well, but I had no trouble finding some areas to work with them in.  Why do I assume they're all going to be Heifitz before I show up?

Sunday afternoon we finished up our federal taxes (necessary to have them filed by tomorrow on account of our health insurance), and then had an impromptu family gathering in which my brother and his wife came over.  They ended up reading to Anne while Jared and I rehearsed, so that was way more pleasant for all of us, and then they stayed for dinner.

So now it's Monday.  And that's that.

Commands and Tricks

My 11-month-old is still asleep this morning.  But when she is awake, she can respond to the following list of commands with some tricks:

• Shaky-shaky *vigorously shakes her head 'no'*
• Wavy-wavy *waves her right hand good-bye*
• Clap-clap *claps her hands together*  (And when I read this line in her book: "Train berry Track berry Clickety-clack berry" she thinks I'm saying "clap-clap" and responds appropriately.)
• Washy-washy *folds her hands together and squeezes the fingers around*
• Kerbunka *Throws herself forward and backward as if making a rocking chair go*
• Open *opens the object at hand - book, door, cell phone*
• Close *closes the object at hand - book, door, cell phone*
• Cough-cough *makes a hilarious fake coughing/clear-the-throat noise*
• Spit it out *spits out the offending object into my hand*
• Not to eat *removes offending object, e.g. pencil, from her mouth*
• Come *crawls to Mommy or Daddy*

She's working on learning a few more right now:

• Hands on
• Hands off
• Pat-pat

Most of the first list wasn't *intentionally taught*.  She did the trick and we gave it a name.  And then she reversed the process herself.  We did the name and she did the trick.

Projects

Finally I finished a long-term project.  Anne's Christmas dress took longer than I'd hoped, but I'm pretty sure she'll still be able to wear it next Christmas, and not to mention many other points between now and then.

Now I'm on to other projects - just little bits at a time, because my day is organized around teaching, rehearsing, baby care, laundry, and cleaning.

My current project is diaper repair.  Replaced the waist elastic in the purple diaper.  Replaced the leg elastics in one of the turquoise diapers.  Stitched up the unravelling leg gussets in a second turquoise diaper.  I still have three more diapers on the repair block - two for leg elastic replacements, and one for seam repairs.  Upcoming post  called Meet the Diapers.  I'm sure that'll be a popular one - ha!

Then I have some more sewing repair projects on the docket along with a sewing from scratch project.  Installing the new handles on the cabinet.  Retouching the hideous scratches on the blue furniture and painting Anne's yardstick. (You know how people mark kid's heights on the wall?  Well, we're going to mark hers on the yardstick so when we move we can take it with us.  Not planning to stay in this apartment until she goes off to college, although you never know...)  And somewhere in there I'll also write a presentation for a conference on teaching note reading.  And write a second post on pondering sin.

Pondering sin

Lord, help me understand in a practical way the difference between a sin and a mistake.  Please make clear to me my own specific sin, help me to confess it, cleanse me from it, and whether sin or mistake help me make it right with others again.  Help me take my sin seriously and let it grieve me.  Let me not brush it off or excuse it.

That's on a card in my prayer box.

*****

I recently studied Matthew chapter 18.  There is a lot about sin in this chapter.  Jesus teaches that tempting others to sin is basically a death sentence for the tempter.  He says it is better to take drastic action to prevent oneself from sinning than to be "normal" and die a sinner.  Jesus talks about if a member of the church is committing sin, how to address that person's sin while attempting to protect that person's reputation and win that person back to fellowship.  Jesus answers Peter's questions about forgiving sin against oneself by saying you must forgive over and over and over again.  And he tells a parable about forgiveness of sin which shows that sin hurts other people, but far and away it hurts God much more.  And if God has forgiven us, we ought to forgive others, because we have already been forgiven a much bigger debt.

*****

Annie likes to stand up using Jared's cello when he's playing.  She gets very excited and likes to smack it with her hands.  And sometimes she is carrying something when she does this, like a pencil, and this puts an ugly scratch into the varnish.  If this happens, and Jared is a magnanimous person (which he is), he is upset about the cello, but not angry at Anne, because she has no idea she is doing anything wrong and doesn't know that she is hurting the cello.  So the solution to this problem is that Jared has to take steps to keep her from touching the cello.

I could scratch Jared's cello, too.  I could accidentally bump it, because I tripped or I dropped my bow.  This would be sad, and might require that I think about my actions so that I am more careful of protecting it.  But Jared, being magnanimous, won't be angry at me.  He'll just be sorry that the cello is damaged.

However, I could scratch Jared's cello on purpose.  This would be a big problem.  The results as far as the cello goes would be the same.  Bad.  But my relationship with Jared would take a big nosedive.  He could not trust me.  I would have deliberately done something to make him angry and to hurt him.

In all three scenarios, the cello is damaged - the creation is hurt.  In the first two scenarios, no sin was committed, although ignorance was displayed and mistakes were made.  In the third scenario, sin was committed, and the relationship with the Owner has been damaged.

*****

I don't remember how old I was or what vehicle we were in, but I remember being in the car with my mom at the red light on Barton Springs Road, waiting in the turn lane to make a left onto Lamar.  I don't remember any of the attendant conversation or how it came about, but I remember my mom saying, "Sin is anything that separates us from God."  

I still believe that, but I want to surround that with some qualifiers now.  My sin separates me from God.  But so can someone else's.  And I'm not guilty for that other person's sin.  My sin separates me from God, but so can the hard cold facts of living in a sinful world.  And I'm not guilty for having been born on this planet.

*****

Part of the service at the church I grew up in is a time of confession.  There is a corporate confession printed in the Order of Worship bulletin for the week, which everyone reads aloud together.  Then there is a time for silent confession.  This is followed by singing of a Kyrie (some type of song along the lines of "Lord, have mercy").  There is a joke that you know how good or bad the organist has been in the last week based on how much time passes between the end of the corporate confession and the introduction to the Kyrie.  This is followed by an Assurance of Pardon; for example a pastor or other reader may read this text from 1 John 1:8-9 "If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.  If we confess our sins, he who is faithful and just will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

All of that is to say that I know during the corporate confession, I have certainly "confessed" sins of which I was not guilty.  No indictment of having a corporate confession time, just a statement of fact that has perhaps contributed to my confusion on the topics of What is Sin? and For What Am I Responsible?

*****

Last week I was asking Jared to share his thoughts on these topics, because I want to have a more accurate and practical theology.  I think I've tended toward errors of extremes.  On the one hand I believe, in the back of my mind, that I am somehow guilty for everything and that I cannot do one right thing in God's sight.  Everything I do is tainted and wrong.  But that that doesn't square with my picture of God who is loving - he cares for me and delights in me.  On the other hand I believe, in the back of my mind, that my sin doesn't really matter, that because of Jesus' finished work I don't need to worry about doing wrong.  Maybe I screw up about once a week, and the rest of the time I'm just fine.  But that doesn't square with my picture of God who is just - he hates sin because of the hurt it does both to me and to others.

So here are a few more comparisons and contrasts I've been thinking about:

"Being a sinner" vs. "committing a sin"

Being a sinner means that I came into the world with faulty physical/mental/emotional/spiritual equipment, and my natural bent is to make the easy/immoral choice.  But committing a sin is the act of making that choice rather than making the hard/moral choice.  So even though I am a sinner by nature, I am not BOUND to commit sin.  Although I have, and do.  

However, I am of the opinion that some of Paul's teachings indicate that when we choose to belong to Christ, he gives us a new nature - a nature that wants to do things God's way.

"Committing a sin" vs. "living in a sinful, broken world"

Committing a sin is a deliberate act on some level.  I may not understand all the factors that went into it, and the very moment I commit it, I may not be fully unaware that I am doing so - I may be under the strong sway of anger or disappointment or alcohol, for example.  But sometimes bad things happen as collateral of living in a sinful, broken world.  For example, if I am concerned about human rights and I also have a need to purchase a certain item for use in my daily life, but both of the corporations that make that item utilize practices which hurt people, I am stuck between a rock and a hard place.  I'm not sure that I am committing a sin by buying from this corporation, but unfortunately there is collateral damage from my decision.  It would also not be a sin if I try to find out how to make do without this item.  Or if I try to make it myself.  And maybe one of those latter two would be better moral choices.  But I think this is shades of grey and not the same as committing a sin.

*****

The prayer card was written in response to studying the 18th Chapter of Matthew.  I've been praying it several times a week.  And now I can see how God is starting to answer my prayer by helping me think and talk about this topic.  I am not done wondering about it.  I want to hold my beliefs loosely, because I don't want to be presumptuous and think I have always interpreted the Bible 100% correctly; that comes too close to being self-righteous.  I want to leave room to grow more and for God to teach me new things and give me fresh understanding.