Family resemblance

I am the 4-month-old baby in this picture.  And one of Anne's namesakes is the lady in red in the front row.

Turns out she does resemble me, too, although I think she looks a lot like her dad.

Songs in the night

During nursing time, I have been staring at my baby, poking around on facebook, flipping through/reading magazines, or singing out of an old hymnal.  This particular hymnal was chosen off the shelf for its ability to stay open without me having to use hands.  Titled The Hymnbook, it was published in 1955 and was one of two pew hymnals at the church I grew up in when I was very small.  For any of you church history nerds out there, the committee which compiled The Hymnbook was comprised of members of Associate Reformed Presbyterian Church, Reformed Church in America, Presbyterian Church (USA), United Presbyterian Church, and Presbyterian Church (US).  

The book has lots of old time hymns (1500's-1800's) and lots of hymns I don't know.  I've just been flipping the book open at random and choosing what to sing based on what catches my eye.  Sometimes I'm looking for one I know, and sometimes I try ones I don't know.  Sometimes in the night I sing the soprano line down an octave, because, well, it's 3:00 in the morning, and that's the best we can do... There are lots of categories of hymns, and at the moment, I've been particularly visiting "His Coming in Glory", "Repentance and Forgiveness", "Prayer and Intercession", "Hymns for the Young:, and "World Friendship and Peace".

One new favorite is number 276: There is a Fountain Filled with Blood

There is a fountain filled with blood
Drawn from Emmanuel's veins;
And sinners, plunged beneath that flood,
Lose all their guilty stains.

The dying thief rejoiced to see
That fountain in his day;
And there may I, though vile as he,
Wash all my sins away.

Dear dying Lamb, Thy precious blood
Shall never lose its power
Till all the ransomed Church of God
Be saved, to sin no more.

E'er since by faith I saw the stream
Thy flowing wounds supply,
Redeeming love has been my theme,
And shall be till I die.

Then in a nobler, sweeter song,
I'll sing Thy power to save,
When this poor lisping, stammering tongue
Lies silent in the grave.

The words are by William Cowper, written in 1771, and the tune is an early American melody.

There are some hymns whose words impress me, but I don't care much for the tune, and there are some tunes I love, but the words are less amazing.  What I notice overall in this hymnal is the depth of theology and the erudite vocabulary.  Both good things for lifting the mind upward!  Some facets of Christendom have become a lot more shallow since 1955, and many of our newer songs for worship have become the "Jesus is my boyfriend" type.  Lame.

The Visitor

We watched a movie on my dad's laptop last night called The Visitor.  I highly recommend you see it.

It's the fictional story of a Connecticut college professor who is widowed, depressed, and ineffective.  He goes down to NYC to present at a conference, and when he walks into his NYC apartment, he finds a young couple unexpectedly living there - the man is a musician from Syria, and the woman is a jewelry maker from Senegal.  The professor ends up becoming friends with them and goes through all kinds of heartbreak as he enters their lives and feels their hardships as he learns about their lives as illegal immigrants.  For those of you interested in "morality ratings", I can tell you that there are swear words used in two different scenes, although they are definitely not used gratuitously, and other than that, there are not really any suggestive scenes or nudity or violence.  It is a pretty clean movie, and it delves into issues of morality regarding discrimination, ignorance, and immigration in the US.  It is not political at all - it is a look inside people.  The ending is hard to watch - it is not just or tidy, and there are lots of unanswered questions.  The end is definitely unsatisfying, but it makes the most sense that way.  You have to think about the reality of various possible outcomes yourself, and I think the ending honors the many people whose lives mirror the characters' lives in real life.

Bottom line: you should go out and watch it now.

Anne Elisabeth

According to The Oxford Concise Dictionary of Names:

Anne

English form (via Old French, Latin, and Greek) of the Hebrew female name Hanna ‘He (God) has favoured me (i.e. with a child)’.  This is the name borne in the Bible by the mother of Samuel. 

Elisabeth

The spelling of Elizabeth used in the Authorized Version of the New Testament, and in most modern European languages.  This was the name of the mother of John the Baptist (Luke 1:60).  Etymologically, the name means ‘God is my oath’, and is therefore identical with Elisheba, the name of the wife of Aaron according to the genealogy at Exodus 6:23.  The final element seems to have been altered by association with Hebrew shabbath ‘Sabbath’.

Anne was the first name of my dad’s twin sister.  It is the middle name of my sister.  And Ann is the middle name of Jared’s mother.  Elisabeth is the middle name of Jared’s sister, and I have had many loved ones who have Elizabeth or Beth as part of their name.

So that’s how she got her name.

And for how she arrived...

Labor started the Tuesday evening before her birth but was quite ignorable until Thursday evening, at which point I was starting to be quite uncomfortable and in a lot of pain at various moments.  So I didn’t sleep much on Thursday or Friday nights.  Saturday morning Jared’s parents arrived to spend the weekend with us, and it was so lovely to be able to visit with them.  Saturday afternoon I got to watch my sister’s wedding and parts of her reception via Skype, which was a lot of fun!  Saturday evening I was getting REALLY tired of being in labor, and I also knew that I hadn’t reached the criteria needed to actually go to the hospital, so I called the midwife for advice.  At this point, I was ready to go to the hospital and get every drug and intervention available, even though I knew that wasn’t what I had decided was best for the baby.  She suggested a hot bath and some Benadryl to calm things down so I could get some sleep and then worry about continuing labor the next day.  The hot bath was nice, but the bath and meds did nothing to calm things down and at about 3 am Sunday I woke Jared and said he should start timing things, because I thought we were about ready for hospital time.  So as soon as he got up, everything slowed down again, so then neither of us got any sleep.  Awesome.  

Sunday afternoon after Jared’s parents left to go home, I called the midwife at the hospital again and asked if I could at least come in to get checked and see if anything has happened.  So Jared and I went in, and it turns out that in all those days of labor I had made a LITTLE progress, but, as I was quite sure already, not enough to be admitted.  She suggested we go for a walk for two hours and then come back and see if I’d made any more progress.  We got our umbrellas out of the car and went for a hike in a hilly neighborhood by the hospital in the pouring rain.  It was fun, and we walked through a house being built and talked to my parents on the phone.  Neither of us had appropriate shoes for the endeavor, so we were pretty well soaked by the time we returned to the hospital.  When the midwife checked me again at that point, I had amazingly almost doubled my progress in those two hours, so I was given a room.  I had not expected to be staying at the hospital, so I hadn’t brought any of the bags I’d packed...  

Once I was admitted, the rest of labor and birth happened quite quickly in under three hours.  It was great that we had the doula there, because she realized that I was about to deliver and ran out to find the nurse and the midwife.  The midwife was sure it wasn’t time yet since I hadn’t been there for very long, but once she got to my room she realized that the baby was on the way.  I pushed that baby out in about 20 minutes, which was good, because at that point, her heart rate had gone way down, and if she hadn’t come very quickly, they would likely have had to do something along the lines of episiotomy and vacuum extraction.  As soon as she was out, she was quite vigorous (peeing, pooping, and screaming within seconds!) - it may have been that she was compressing her cord.

Anyway, she is beautiful and she looks a lot like her daddy so far, except that the top halves of her ears look like mine and her pinky toes have the same odd joint fusion that mine do...  

Jared was absolutely amazing through all those days of labor and at the birth (which I’m guessing probably freaked him out - maybe I should have been drugged for his sake!), and it’s so fun to watch him with his little daughter.  He loves her so much and takes such good care of her.  We’re having a lot of fun and not getting quite as much sleep as we’d like, but it’s more sleep than I expected!

I felt fairly certain the baby would be a boy.  But it turns out that both of us were secretly hoping for a girl.  Although one can't really think that too much, because one is given what one is given.  But God knew, didn't he?

Tidbits from today

I slept like an actual human being last night and woke up feeling rested at 6:30.

Took Jeffrey and Linda to the airport so they could go to our sister's wedding.  Sorry I don't get to go!  But at least my inlaws are coming here this weekend, and my parents are coming next week.

Had one filling redone after the airport run.  They didn't have time for the second one, so I'm going to have to return on Monday.  But it wasn't as awful as I thought it might be, actually.  And the dentist and her assistant were chatting away as they worked on me, and it may be the first time the dentist was younger and possibly ditzier than I am.  :-)

Bought some snacks and clothing for the hospital.  Hospitals don't always have food when you want it, and sometimes it's just gross jello...  And I don't like hospital gowns, so I got my own.  I will be much more comfortable!

Found a new route to my favorite city park which will be more stroller friendly.  My traditional route there was great except for the two hilly blocks where the traffic is a bit fast and there is no sidewalk and not really enough shoulder for a jogging stroller.  So I am happy to report I will not have to discontinue jogging to the park!  (Ok, so I should mention that I haven't jogged since about week 26 of this pregnancy, because my legs are too swollen to make it any fun.  But I fully intend to return to running as soon as I am able.)  I signed up for our church's team for the Biggest Loser 1/2 Marathon in October.  Theoretically our team is a "walking" team, but I'm planning to run.

A big ol' package from my dad arrived via UPS today containing the crib cover he designed and built.  My dad is an engineer, and he set to work solving the problem of keeping certain furry mammals out of the crib.  I think it's going to be a huge success!

The amount of mold that spontaneously generates in this apartment is gross.

Jared is cooking something for dinner which smells really good.

Group class tonight will be sad without Roy.  He was the most popular person there.  And it was great to have someone older and reliable in the group who also really wanted to be there.  I'm trying to figure out how we can possibly find a replacement for him.

Time to practice for a few minutes!

Love

To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.

That's from The Four Loves by C.S. Lewis.

If I speak in the tongues of mortals and of angels, but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give away all my possessions, and if I hand over my body so that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never ends. 

That's from Paul's first letter to the Corinthians.

Those are my thoughts for the day.

The first shall be last and the sixth shall be first.

I probably have no idea what I'm going to be faced with when this baby arrives.  How can one ever be prepared?  Taking care of a newborn is a 24-hour job and entirely unpredictable moment by moment.  And yet teaching must go on, because there is the small matter of paying for our rent and taking care of my students...  Thankfully, Jared will be home some when I am teaching, and I have some great babysitting lined up for when I have to teach elsewhere.  The few lessons I'll be teaching when the baby and I are home alone - I'm a little concerned about those...  I do know that babies mature quickly and these particular concerns will last for a time measuring only in months.  My group class co-teacher raised six boys.  (I am in awe!)  She said by the birth of the sixth, it was no big deal - they knew what to expect and their lives carried on fine.  So I am endeavoring to have my sixth child first!  But I may go around muttering this chorus every 30 minutes or so: